ABOUT THE AUTHOR…Sparkle is an award-winning author, blogger, advice columnist and supermodel. She is also a cat – a ruddy Somali of champion lineage, in fact, whose father, GC Tajhara’s Miles Davis, was twice on the cover of Cat Fancy. Sparkle’s first book, Dear Sparkle: Advice from One Cat to Another, won the Wild Card category at the 2007 Hollywood Book Festival and honorable mentions in several other contests. She also recently came home with the Pettie Award — the pet blogging equivalent of an Oscar — for Best Cat Blog. Sparkle lives in Los Angeles with two humans, two feline roommates (both rescue cats), and (unfortunately) a dog.

Dear Sparkle: Cat-to-Cat Advice from the World’s Foremost Feline Columnist (Adams Media) is her second book.

You can visit Sparkle’s blog at http://www.sparklecat.com.

FROM THE BOOK FAERY REVIEWS…As a proud mama of 2 female felines, I enjoyed the humorous book of compiled cat letters to the world’s famous feline columnist, Sparkle. So many questions as the human slave have finally been answered! Yet, I still can’t help but wonder if we could some how come up with a better compromise sometime?

Perhaps the next time Miss CheChe feels the need to upchuck fur balls (like last night) and whatever else she’s gotten into.

Miss CheChe…If you don’t want me to attempt to pick you up mid-heave, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just go into the bathroom to do it?  You’ve made it to right outside that room, is two more steps be too much? I know Sparkles tells you to puke on me instead then, well fine. My clothes are MUCH easier to clean than my carpet!

And Miss ShuShu? Must you REALLY keep scratching at the walls after you do your business or eat?! When I’m sleeping is the worst!

Cute and fun read that all cat lovers must read. Sparkles the Cat has much to share…just don’t let your felines near the book!

READ SPARKLE’S AUTHOR GUEST POST HERE

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I was inspired by humor writers’ like Erma Bombeck. In Aunt Erma’s Cope Book, Erma pointed out the fact that TV and children dominated our buying habits and that the kids could actually hum beer commercials before their eyes could really focus. So, this was my first clue that motherhood was going to be a challenge.

In addition to Bombeck, I was inspired by comedian Alan King, who wrote Help I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery and Anyone Who Owns Their Own Home Deserves it. At the time I was reading those books, my husband and I were in the process of buying a single fixer-upper in Northeast Philadelphia. I got a kick out of Alan’s witty lines about home repairs after we moved into the house. I had just wasted most of our budget in molding trying to get a 45-degree angle
and didn’t even know what a coping saw was. I was trying to match the angles on a ceiling to no avail and my husband was learning the hard way why a chalk line is necessary to lay tiles. A neighbor, who was a policeman moonlighting as a contractor came over to see how we were doing. After he finished laughing, he showed us how to proceed. I realized I had enough first- hand funny material to tackle the publishing for 100 years. I was considering writing a humor
book titled You’ll Go Blind Without Chalk Lines.

While I was relaying these stories to people, they kept responding the same way. “You should write a book,” they would say. “It’s too funny!”

I researched the mechanics of writing a book and was advised by a professional writer to get a job with a local newspaper or publisher, to hone my writing skills. I found out that creative writing paid next to squat, so I took an entry-level position as a technical writer for a major publisher. However, as usual, funny things would happen on the job and I would entertain friends and co- workers with stories and anecdotes. I couldn’t get humor writing out of my system and people still kept pressuring me to write a book of humorous essays.

Then my grandchildren came along, and even more hilarious things would happen; like the time my oldest daughter, who got married and gave birth to three boys, finally had a girl. We brought her home from the hospital and the boys watched while I changed her diaper, they went ballistic saying that she was defective and had missing parts. They were terrorized and went running after their father asking if he could take her back to the hospital and get her repaired.

As if that wasn’t enough, I was noticing a cultural change in our society. News programming with adult content that used to air at 11:00 pm, rather than prime-time, was being broadcast while the kids were still up doing homework at 6:00 pm. Clinton took office and it was a prime- time fiasco. Children’s sex education was no longer left up to their parents and teachers. They were learning how to spell all the bad words like …“Oval Office.” The v-chip didn’t

block out intermittent news reports about all the hanky-panky going on in the White House. I asked myself, what sort of evolving situation is this in the media when my seven-year-old granddaughter, while doing homework in front of the TV, begins to ask embarrassing questions, and wants to know if Kenneth Star is trying to fire our president and asks “What is philandering, anyway?”

This was it for me! So, I started writing satire about some of these joker politicians on Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog (http://www.rosevalenta.com), remembering Erma Bombeck saying “If you can’t fix it, you can laugh at it.”

The blog became popular and I finally decided to write my book. I needed a title, so I asked myself: What is the best example of Murphy’s Law in a woman’s life, a pithy phrase, and a situation that affects practically everyone? – “Aha! Sitting on Cold Porcelain!” You’ve done that at 3:00 am, right?

You have to read the introduction to my book; it explains that idea in detail.

Funny material is never ending and I am in the process of writing Sitting on Cold Porcelain II.

Just to give you a glimpse into Edition II, can you even imagine the President of Iran declaring jihad on Paul the Psychic Octopus? It’s true! And it will be appropriately spoofed in Edition II.

If you love reading humor as much as I do, here are a few more books for your “must read” list:

Help I’m a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery by Alan King; If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits by Erma Bombeck; Never Stand Behind a Loaded Horse by Gordon Kirkland; Rebel Without a Minivan by Tracy Baron Beckerman; and if you are into the classics, The Athletic Benchley by Thomas Saunders.

My intent with Sitting on Cold Porcelain is to entertain you. I hope you laugh out loud reading it and whenever you find yourself in real life situations that are not funny at the time, and you can’t really fix itl, you can think about Sitting on Cold Porcelain and have a good laugh!

You can purchase a copy of my book at Amazon, including The Kindle Store; Barnes and Noble online; Better World Books; your local book store’s order desk; and Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog. It’s been a long time coming and has been getting 5-star reviews.

ABOUT THE BOOK…Political unrest. government scandal. corruption… extortion! What do all these things have in common? They are perfect targets for satire! In Sitting on Cold Porcelain, readers will find an amusing, perceptive, and laugh-out-loud take on the state of our country and our world, on celebrities and politicians, and all the news events that make us roll our eyes and groan.

Its satirical essays include “Giuliani’s Gaffe Could Qualify for Political Darwin Award,” “Rush Limbaugh: The Don Rickles of Radio,” “State of The Union 2010: Bitch-Slapping Congress,” “Islamic Cleric Declares Jihad on Mickey Mouse,” “Little Egypt to Run Against Sarah Palin,” and “Who Moved My Mascarpone?”

You will also find Rose’s hysterical consultations with her friend, Mrs. Giordano, a South Philadelphia Malocchio (evil eye) doctor. Mrs. Giordano bloviates in Italian and is the Italian equivalent to the ‘Numa Numa Guy’ in front of the TV when she watches The O’Reilly Factor. – FROM AMAZON.COM

• Paperback: 164 pages
• Publisher: Xlibris, Corp. (March 19, 2010)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR…Rose A. Valenta is a nationally syndicated humor columnist. Her irreverent columns have been published in Senior Wire, Associated Content, Courier Post Online, NPR, Newsday, USA TODAY, the WSJ Online, and many other local news and radio websites.

She is the author of Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog. This is the blog for people who would be knowledgeable about current events and politics if only politicians and news anchors didn’t stretch the truth. “What else is there to do, but share an honest laugh?” Rose said.

Rose regularly attends the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop at the University of Dayton, is a member of the Robert Benchley Society and the National Society of Newspaper Columnists (NSNC).

Rose lived in Philadelphia for over 40 years, where she honed her humor writing skills by being married to a Philadelphia Policeman and giving birth to three children. “Times have changed. Now that we have 10 grandchildren, I’m not sure how I feel about children being exposed to the evening news. Humorous things happen, like the time my grandson asked us to come outside to see his version of ‘Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman’ right after Snowmageddon.”

Rose worked for a subsidiary of McGraw-Hill, Datapro Information Services, for 12 years as a technical staff writer, and also wrote freelance articles for other computer industry publications.

She claims that her Italian heritage stunted her growth. She is English on her Father’s side and believes that in a past life, during medieval times, she was probably a trusted member of the Counsel of the Jesters.

Her latest book is Sitting on Cold Porcelain which you can find out more about at her website at www.rosevalenta.com.

As the authors themselves say, “The first thing that strikes you about the dead is just how many of them there are.” Helpfully, Lloyd and Mitchinson have employed a simple – but ruthless – criterion for inclusion: The dead person has to be interesting.

Here, then, is a dictionary of the dead, an encyclopedia of the embalmed. Ludicrous in scope, whimsical in its arrangement, this wildly entertaining tome presents pithy and provocative biographies of the no-longer-living from the famous to the undeservedly and – until now – permanently obscure. Spades in hand, Lloyd and Mitchinson have dug up everything embarrassing, fascinating, and downright weird about their subjects’ lives and added their own uniquely irreverent observations.

Organized by capricious categories – such as dead people who died virgins, who kept pet monkeys, who lost limbs, whose corpses refused to stay put – the dearly departed, from the inventor of the stove to cross-dressing, bear-baiting female gangster, finally receive the epitaphs they truly deserve. – FROM THE BOOK JACKET

FROM THE BOOK FAERY REVIEWS…Interesting read that YES I will be keeping on my shelves and grateful that it’s already in the hardback book format! History is fun but reading about the odd behaviors, quirks, and weirdness of famous dead people just makes it all the more fun and obviously memorable! Did you know that Catherine De Medici drilled a hole in her husband’s bedroom floor so she could spy on him and his lover to get “practical tips”?! CRAZY!

I wish this was a copy I could have gotten extras for because I’d definitely give someone one. Go pick up this read!

I received a copy of this book for review.

Leigh Anderson, a writer who grew up playing Kick the Can and SPUD and spent years playing and mastering hundreds of games and out-Hoyling Hoyle to become one of the world’s leading game experts, has written the book that belongs in every home, apartment, vacation house, summer cottage, dorm room, and community center. The Ultimate Gamebook for Grown-ups is a jam-packed, 448-page cornucopia of games, all organized by type.

It’s time to have fun again with this celebration of play and essential 21st century game book. All the classics are here—Botticelli, Exquisite Corpse, Marco Polo, Mafia, Charades (in fact, not just Charades, but 8 variations including Charades Fortune Cookie, Charades One Word, Charades iPod)—plus newer favorites—Japanese Snow-Ball Fight, Six-Word Memoir, Iron Chef—and, from contributors like Will Shortz and 14 other game experts, 15 brand-new games, created for the book. Each of the 300 plus entries includes number of players, how to play (with rules), gear if needed, time, strategies, and game plans. – FROM AMAZON

ABOUT THE AUTHOR…Leigh Anderson is a game expert, writer, and reporter whose articles appear in Jane, Salon, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, and Time Out New York. She spent the last three years testing every game in the book, interviewing top game inventors and participating in Come Out and Play festivals throughout the country. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. – Workman.com

Follow the author on… Twitter and on the Web.

FROM THE BOOK FAERY REVIEWS…Great game resource to keep around for when the mood needs to be lightened up or just when you want to have some plain fun wherever and whatever the occasion. There were games my family and I have played and plenty more that we’re itching to try out. In The Games Bible you’ll find ice-breakers, guessing games, indoor games, conversation games, literary & word games, right-brain games, games of general cleverness, Victorian Parlor games, holiday games, games for gamblers & bluffers, trivia games, card-game refreshers, brainy games for two, weekend getaway games, impromptu games, outdoor games, and even lawn games.

Thanks to Planned Television Arts (PTA) I am giving away 1 copy of The Games Bible by Leigh Anderson now through the September 31st, 2010 to a lucky US reader/commenter of The Book Faery Reviews.

TO ENTER…Leave a separate comment for multiple entries.

1) MANDATORY – Tell me one of your favorite pastime games.

2) Become an e-mail or RSS subscriber (see sidebar).

3) Follow me on Twitter.

4) Tweet this giveaway “@farrah1230 from #tbfr is giving away a copy of @TheGamesBible here: ”

5) Share this giveaway in a post somewhere else (leave the url).

In The Dog Ate My Planner, Pat Snyder offers the sandwich generation a whole new approach to getting organized: lots of fun stories about life gone wrong, plus 74 fun tips for setting it right. – FROM AMAZON.COM

AUTHOR GUEST POST…STOCKING STUFFING STRESS STILL STALKS ME

As we plowed through the Wal-Mart parking lot the other day, fingers numb from the 600 pounds of gifts we’d crammed into two dozen plastic handle bags, my mom, then 83, took a moment to reflect on the good old days.

“When I was a girl, we just got fruit in our stockings,” she said. “Just fruit. And those little free samples Aunt Rana sent away for all year. Little bottles of lotion and make-up. Life was simpler then.”

I laughed at the time, trying to imagine how a sock full of grapefruit, tangerines and apples would be greeted at our house on Christmas morning. But half a tank of gas and a full headache later, I’m ready to make Aunt Rana the patron saint of stocking-stuffers.

In our house alone, estimating conservatively and using premium fruit, a grapefruit or two and a couple dozen apples and tangerines could save us at least 12 hours, three migraine headaches and a couple of hundred dollars a year.

I realize as soon as I say it that I know that not everyone will agree. I know — because they happily announce it — that some folks joyfully squirrel away stocking stuffers all year long and are completely prepared for the winter. Others have simply lowered their families’ expectations. As they tell it, there is unbridled rejoicing at trial size bottles of Dial antibacterial soap and Head & Shoulders shampoo.

But for me the perfect has become, as they say, the enemy of the possible. Stufferless and stymied, I am still searching for the perfect seven or eight items per person. Each not too practical but not too useless. Each not too expensive but not too cheap. Each no bigger than a Band-Aid box but reflecting the recipient’s personal interests and taste. Each purchased secretly while its recipient is waiting in the car.

I’m all finished except for the stockings. But in the school of Christmas shopping, I am like the Ph.D. candidate who hasn’t started her dissertation. There’s a long road ahead, and I need a couple of extensions.

This is not for lack of helpful suggestions from bystanders in the stocking race. Their advice this year breaks down into four major categories:

• “Start early!” This counsel, rarely offered before mid-December, is as useful as telling a woman with six children hanging on her arm in the post office line that she probably should have mailed the packages to Taiwan before December 21.

• “Think big!” It’s true that each tall can of hairspray, slid down the center of a stocking, saves at least 60 minutes of shopping time. But for those who must personalize each gift, it takes another 30 to write a poem explaining it.

• “Just buy gift certificates!” Not bad, as long as each one is packed in a container the size of a videotape. Otherwise, the average stocking holds approximately 3,624.

• “Just buy toiletries!” This last, the hands-down winner with pre-teen girls, can now work for everyone, including the family dog. Exquisitely packaged lotions, creams and sprays with names like Zesty Grapefruit, Tangy Tangerine and Sparkling Green Apple are ready for the picking. Unless, of course, they don’t smell exactly like Zesty Grapefruit, Tangy Tangerine and Sparkling Green Apple.

In which case, the only choice would be to go for the real thing.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR…Pat Snyder believes laughter is no laughing matter. “It’s the secret weapon,” she says, “against stress in our overbooked lives.”

She should know. Pat, a Columbus, Ohio lawyer, mom, humor columnist and certified laughter leader, has been overbooking her life for as long as she can remember.

Always in a rush, she’s left her late husband’s antibiotic on the moving van, served leftover cereal for dinner, and made a career of losing her reading glasses.

FOLLOW HER HERE…Website – Facebook – Twitter – LinkedIn

FROM THE BOOK FAERY REVIEWS…Prepare yourself for one long laugh as you go through the same scenarios she does in your own life. She makes you realize laughter can get your through anything. If you’re looking for a laugh as you juggle life’s changes, advances and goofs, be sure to pick up a copy of The Dog Ate My Planner. It’s one of those books you can pick up over and over again to help you see the humor in everything.

Follow her December book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion:

The 2 tops winners are…Genevieve Larson & RobynL.  Winners will be contacted and given 48 hours to respond with a mailing address.  If no response is received within that time frame the next on the list will be contacted.  Congratulations!

FROM THE BOOK FAERY REVIEWS…This book will have you nodding and laughing along the way.  You just gotta pick up a copy!

TWO copies of IS IT JUST ME OR IS EVERYTHING SHIT? to TWO lucky readers with US/Canada mailing addresses (NO PO Boxes).  Leave a comment about one modern thing that annoys you.  To gain an extra entry or 2 you can copy & tweet the following: “@wifeandmomof3 thanks for Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit book giveaway at http://tbfreviews.net!” or blog about it on your site.  No need for multiple comments, one combined entry is all you need and I will add your extra entries.  The giveaway will last until Wednesday, May 20th at 11:59 pm ET.  Good Luck!