An ordinary memory sits like a photograph in a family album. It’s always available to visit by thumbing through the album. A trauma memory is not pasted in the photo album. Like getting lost in the attics of our mind, it goes to the unconscious. Dissociation happens when a trauma memory becomes a photo ripped into pieces and scattered across the attic floor.
Ordinary memories enter our brain through our five senses. Signals move along pathways as these sensations seek similar moments from our past. Memories become associated like letters being sorted into the mail boxes with similar addresses. If a person places a significance on the experience being processed, our brain translates the new information into words so the moment can be shared with others. This happens with stressful memories we would rather not recall as well as with positive or neutral events.
Yesterday’s trip to the grocery store would be neatly placed near the memories of a young girl’s other shopping experiences. This memory might be attached to the glorious warm weather or the ice cream cone her dad bought her on the way home. If, a month or year from now, she wanted to remember this trip to the store, her brain would be able to provide the information by tracking associations with the ice cream cone, her dad, the weather, or grocery stores. It would give her the words she needed to talk about the moment.
Trauma memories are not attached to other memories by association. Extreme emotion interferes in normal memory function, and these memories go to the unconscious. They are stored in the area of the brain that processes only emotion and sensation but not the words that would help describe the incident. Feelings associated with these memories are present, but the memories themselves cannot be recalled at will. Survivors of trauma live with memories that affect their choices, reactions, and view of the world, but they are unaware of them. It’s like loosing a letter in “lost and found” because the address was written with invisible ink.
If a child went to the grocery store on that warm, sunny day with her dad, and, while eating her ice cream cone on the way home, she experienced something that made her feel absolutely powerless and shocked, an ordinary memory would not form. She would arrive home and not be able to remember or talk about what happened while she was gone, but she might have a vivid, recurring impression of cold ice cream on her tongue.
Dissociation is a biological response that separates awareness from consciousness. It is a natural, protective occurrence that happens without will. In the process, information separates from our normal, autobiographical memory. It creates a series of holes in memory like a letter being shredded.
We would like to think childhood sexual abuse happens to a few unfortunate people outside our circle of family, friends, and acquaintances, but statistics tell a different story. One in three girls is sexually abused. One in six boys is molested. In families from every neighborhood across the nation, children keep this secret so they can survive. About half of them will leave home unable to recall their trauma because all memories are not the same.
About Jeanne McElvaney and her books…A master of language and feelings, Jeanne creates characters who quickly become friends. Her visual images make you feel like you’re stepping into a movie. And while some of her fiction will expand your world, others may change your life.
Her books are dedicated to the wonder and resiliency of personal spirit. Spirit Unbroken-Abby’s Story is about childhood innocence celebrated and violated. It takes you to the very core of dissociated memories. In Harrietta’s Happenstance, the reader witnesses a young woman held hostage to a memory she feels compelled to keep secret.
In September, Jeanne’s next novel, Old Maggie’s Spirit Whispers will be released. Lyrical and nostalgic, this book gives you the simplicity, trust, and connections to ignite your own spirit insights. It’s like riding your bike on a sweet summer day, exploring all the familiar places – knowing the real adventure is taking place deep inside.
Warmed by family connections and rich friendships, Jeanne lives in Northern California with her awesomely supportive husband and delightfully distracting dog where they live in possibilities. If faeries hover around, they are rarely seen by others.
Reviews are available at Amazon.com.
To see 200 years of sexual abuse history in a 3-minute video, visit YouTube.
Possibilities…I have often wished I could spend time with an author after reading a book that touches me or gives me characters who feel like new friends. Now I’d like to offer that opportunity to my readers.
